So Close I Can Taste It...

Dear Readers,

Happy Belated New Year, y'all! I trust that 2010, both the New Year and new decade, have gotten off to beautiful starts for all of you.

I must say, that as far as starts go, 2010 has been one of the best. For the first time in a long time... I'm HOPEFUL. I feel like... 45% of the things I want are going my way. The other 55%, I'm just really leaving in God's hands because I've done all I can do in my own mortality to make them work in my favor.

2010 started with celebration. Specifically, on New Year's Day, I went out with a very good friend of mine who I know from way back in my BlackPlanet days to a party in downtown Houston. I kicked off 2010 by literally kissing 2009 goodbye - the pain, the frustration, the downfall, the setbacks... I was determined to wash those away with my Blue Hawaiian lol. Three days later, I would find out that I had been 1) readmitted to the University of Texas at Austin; and 2) possibly would be getting my tuition waived and, hence, housing covered. Three days after THAT, I was blessed to watch the National College Football Championship game with MY Texas Longhorns with some friends of mine in Houston, many of whom were UT Alumni already on their way down their respective post-undergrad roads of life (one's a personal trainer, one is a teacher with aspirations to go back to Los Angeles, and pretty much all the others are graduate school). I tried to set aside my own bittersweet feeling of being a failure amongst so much accomplishment... and resolved while I was there to make sure I was back in Austin to handle and finish what I had started. UT mounted one of hell of a comeback but eventually lost the game...

I would carry over the spirit of celebration the following day, January 8th, when I turned 24 years old. This too was a day of bittersweet celebration - I was officially one year away from being a quarter of a century old. I was glad to have made it thus far... but very much discouraged to be so unaccomplished at so "old" an age. I tried not to let this bother me too much; but I was blessed once again by the fact that many of my best friends since grade school, and the good friend mentioned above, took me first to a bar and then downtown for my 24th. I definitely got tipsy plus LOL, but I was really just thankful for the break and the time to just relax and enjoy myself.

I would find out that following Monday, on January 12, that pretty much everything was in motion with regards to UT, as I now had financial aid on the way and someone in Austin waiting on me to confirm an apartment. If you're thinking things are sounding just a bit too good to be true... you're absolutely right.

I found out that I couldn't get my financial aid or register for classes until I had taken care of certain "overdue fees" I owed the University from my last semester there. I would also find out that the state supported service that was GOING to help me set up my housing, was going to back out of helping me if I wasn't able to register for classes. Hence, the week of the 12th - just last week - is really a blur. On both of my days off, I headed to Austin to handle things with the financial aid office. It cleaned me out both physically and financially... but as of Friday, January 15, I had been registered as a student at the University of Texas.

Now, all that's left really, is securing my apartment... no easy task considering the spot that was being held for me seems to be slipping out of my grasp since I was unable to get my application to him because I've been... well, broke. So tomorrow... tomorrow I hustle again. Tomorrow I hustle to try and secure my apartment and, consequently, secure my place in Austin. It is BEYOND scary, y'all. I'm so close I can taste it. I want to believe that all I've pushed for and gone through and hustled for has not been in vain. Much of that relies on tomorrow. I can at least appreciate that, in all this, God has shown me how strong I REALLY am. I'm thankful that He taught me to pick up the pieces of myself and rebuild and FIGHT to the finish instead of just stand idly by.

Tomorrow... we find out whether the fight has ended, in Houston anyway, to begin anew in Austin. Keep me in your thoughts, y'all. I won't call it a Comeback until it's all said and done.