Just Venting (Again)

"What happens to a dream deferred?...

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore—
And then run?

... Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?"

- from Harlem, by Langston Hughes

I just wanted to vent here for a minute because this has been "on my mind" since I read about it this morning. Surprisingly, this time I'm NOT venting about a female. Bout time, right? lol

But seriously... today I learned that the current editor and CEO of Ebony Magazine, Linda Johnson-Rice, is basically "shopping around" the magazine to any interested buyers to continue its publication. Ebony may very well be reaching its "swan song."

This, to me, was very discouraging. As you may know if you've been following along or if you know me, I'm a writer first and foremost. Consequently, I had always aspired to attain, when it came to my writing, these things:

I. A Pulitzer Prize
II. A Nobel Prize for Literature
III. A Book Critics Circle Award (or two)
IV. Recognition on the Essence Book Club list
V. Recognition as a "New York Times Best-Selling Author"
VI. Last but not at all least, spotlight or mentioning in the "Books" section of a major Black publication like Ebony, Essence, or even Vibe (which was a music/hip-hop culture magazine, so I don't know how that would have been possible, but "I had a dream," damn it! lol)

That last thing on the list seems to be a lot less of a reality these days. Vibe Magazine is no longer printed, as the magazine caved in earlier this year. KING Magazine, a former magazine geared towards a primarily Black male audience, also ended its reign; ironically, KING magazine shut down one issue AFTER printing its "5th anniversary issue," where it promised that KING Magazine would be something to "look forward to in the next five years." But back on topic...

It's discouraging. I definitely feel like my dream's "exploding," that I'm now basically racing to make it into Essence in terms of a spotlight, because Essence looks like it'll be the only Black publication left with a "strong brand," the only one left to literally carry on the "essence" of the Black press. Not to say that I don't want recognition elsewhere, but there's just something more meaningful, to me, about being recognized by your own people. Or maybe I'm just selfish.

All I know is, the clock's ticking and possibly running out on one of my aspirations. And that definitely scares me.