"We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are."- Max Depree
So... in my last installment, as I closed out "Before the Dawn," I told you all that sometimes that our hard times actually define us as opposed to take something away from us. In a sense, this post is a continuation of that, and hopefully it'll offer you some motivation...
I actually 'stole' ("borrowed" if you follow intellectual property laws) the above quote from the bottom of a good friend of mine's email (not like you'll ever read this, lol, but thanks, W!). I was browsing through my good ol', but oh so frustratingly multifunctional Gmail account trying to find some old information, when I came across her [business-related] email and this quote following her email signature. And I thought it for a good minute or so. "We cannot become who we need to be by remaining who we are." The quote says a lot in one sentence.
First, Depree's quote suggests that sometimes the challenges or changes we face cannot be addressed by "being the same person." I'll expound on that. The easiest example to give you is through weightlifting: You won't be able to bench press 200 pounds, for example, if you keep solely working out with the 40 and 50 pound dumbbells. One person who I consider a huge mentor of mine, Jonathan Sprinkles, likes to say, "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten." Doing the same thing, being the same person, over time becomes very routine and even very mundane. You simply can't aspire to bigger or better if you don't change your routine up.
Secondly, Depree's quote suggests that challenges or changes we face WILL change us. We don't have a say in the matter; it just happens. Sometimes we'll be confronted with the tragedy of losing a loved one or failing at something we attempted to do. In the process of dealing with this tragedy or failure, we all adapt differently; some people close themselves in, others take out their anger and frustration with the situation on things (or, regrettably, on the people around them). In every instance, though, when our circumstances change, we change, too. I notice that I, myself, when I'm going through a particularly rough patch in my life, I get down on myself to a ridiculous level. Sometimes not even faking a smile is enough lol. So I try to distance myself from friends and/or family when I'm in this "mood" because I don't want to "infect" them with it, if that makes sense. I say all this say, when we're confronted with something new, with something that threatens to take something away from us, that confrontation causes us all to undergo some type of personality shift. Which leads me into the third and final point (this sounds too damn much a school paper, but it SHOULD make sense...)
Finally, Depree's quote tells us that an adaptation or change of self is necessary to address these challenges. This point sounds a bit like the previous one, but there is a distinct difference between the two: choice. Whereas in the second point, you're told that you WILL change in the face of adversity, this third point tells you that YOU have to decide whether you want to make a change that will help you put down your challenges. That's both empowering and scary. Empowering because in any situation, being given a choice makes you feel like you can actually do something or react to your situation. You do better when you're provided with choices to solve a problem as opposed to when you "only have one way out," so to speak. However, this is also scary because you don't want to make the wrong choice; in fact, you're not entirely sure if you could handle the CONSEQUENCES that could come with making the wrong choice.
In a sense, there are no "wrong" choices. There's only action or inaction, basically a real life equivalent of a "red pill" and "blue pill" (as in the movie, The Matrix). But only through action can you actually BREAK THROUGH a given a challenge or barrier. Until you choose to act, you don't get to pass "Go" and collect your $200; you'll just be standing there, waiting for something or someone else to act on your behalf. Action, therefore, is the IDEAL (not necessarily the "right") choice. When you're literally writing a paper at the last minute (it's 3 AM and the paper's due at 7 AM), the choice to act encourages you to type faster, get on your research grind harder than usual. When you're in a literal fight with a bully or someone who's just pressed you too far, you set aside your fear of the person and replace it with the courage to fight back. When you feel your world crashing down around you, when it seems like nothing is going your way, you alone decide whether you will stand there and watch things fall apart... or whether you will catch the pieces as they fall and strive to rebuild your world brick by brick. Sometimes the simplest action you can take, if you believe in that, is to simply pray on your circumstances, to talk to your Creator about what you're going through. The change will not always be easy; in fact, sometimes it might be quite painful. But if you choose to act, you say goodbye to "weakness" and play skillfully with the hand you've been dealt, as opposed to spend forever wishing for better cards. And you'll have to change the timid, lazy, reactive person you used to be... with a quick-thinking, stronger, proactive person in order to change your situation. You go through to grow through and, consequently, grow past.
What choice will you make? Will you remain who you've always been... or will you step up to see what more you may be capable of?
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