Lost...

This is how I feel right now. Disoriented... a little afraid. A little like some of the things I've done or have attempted to do have amounted to nothing. I feel lost... I feel purposeless. I need motivation. I desire encouragement. I need direction. I hope for guidance.

Have you ever had a moment like that? Where it felt like, not necessarily that everything was 'crashing down,' but where pretty much everything was... not where you wanted it to be? Things had been falling out of place and out of order... and no matter what you tried to do to make things right, it seemed they never truly, truly fit.

This is where I am right now. And in this moment, I came up with this. Hopefully I'll be able to find what it is I'm looking for much, much sooner than later...
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I was moving along, head held high, and then I suddenly realized,
I didn’t really know the destination, didn’t know the reason why
I’m seeing me, and you in the distance
Still trying to figure out how we grew distant
Was it my fault? Did I push too hard, too soon,
Make you fade away from me like sunlight after a moon?
Was I overfocused on other aspects of life, seeking temporary relief,
so now I’m empty without you, stressed out with permanent grief?

When I thought I was working hard, was I really hardly at work,
On improving what we should have had, and putting you first?
Admittedly, I’m lost now, seeking out Amazing Grace,
Feel like I’m grasping in the dark, now that I don’t have the light in your face
And you are undoubtedly the type of person that cannot be replaced
So I’m calling out, asking that you simply returned
My heart’s gone colder, but my Soul’s Aflame
And I’m terrified that after all this time, you might not remember my name

So I’m reaching out now, hands extended,
Hoping it’s not too late for past mistakes to be presently mended
And then I fall to my knees,
It’s a vulnerable moment, perhaps, but I don’t care who sees
Because I’m questioning for the first time since maybe ever,
Was I pursuing what I wanted so bad, that what I needed has left me forever?
And I remember feeling always so certain whenever you were beside me
I remember how you made me stronger, never lied to or tried to fight me
I was so wrong, I see it now, you only wanted to right me
Dear God, I need you now: please, come back and guide me