Faking It...

Good leaders, or anyone who intends to be a leader for that matter, need to know how to fake it.

It’s not easy being the ‘go-to guy’ for certain issues and situations; everybody wants to be a chief, but not everyone is prepared for chief-like responsibilities. People start depending on you for many things, and as situations get increasingly bad, you’re the person everyone else looks to. You bear the burden not just for your own public image, but for the image of other people associated with a particular organization, as well as the organization or group itself.

So how does this relate to 'faking it'? Well, on the one hand, you have to always carry yourself a particular way. This means maintaining and controlling your emotions in a given environment. You have to literally 'check yourself at the door.' This serves a two-fold purpose: on the one hand, if you enter into a meeting or event and you're angry, irritated, or frustrated, you don't want to show it. It prevents people from asking uncomfortable questions ("are you okay?" "did something happen?" "you look (insert adjective here)"), prevents you from having to answer said questions, and also prevents you from taking out your emotions on others. It's never a good look to snap at someone in public just because things aren't going your way. On the other hand, it might allow you, if only for a few precious moments, to imagine you actually do feel happy or whatever emotion you're trying to fake in public.

You have to fake goodwill, as well. This means sometimes you have to be available to and willing to work with certain people who you might not be able to tolerate, or who you feel might not be able to tolerate you. Ideally, you get to a mental compromise point whereby you tell yourself, "The cause isn't personal/the cause is bigger than what we have going on". In a sense, this is somewhat treacherous: a person might find her or himself questioning, perhaps outright, whether an invite to a particular event or occasion by someone she or he has never been on the best of terms with, is made out of pity and not out of genuine desire to have you around.

Lastly, you've got to be able to fake confidence. This is much easier for some people than others. The reality is, soldiers don't want to go marching into battle with a general who doesn't make them feel like they have a shot at winning the battle. It's like the people you're working with are saying, "I trust you with my life/image/reputation"; you really can't afford to let these people down. Ironically, leaders are often elevated to a point beyond mere humanity; in essence, they become the 'standards,' the examples for everyone else to follow. So you have to be self-assured in your capabilities, in your actions. Confidence is probably the hardest of all the aforementioned things to fake, because you know your flaws. You know what you are and aren't capable of. But they don't... and hence you have that to your advantage in a given situation.

If you get to a particular point where you DON'T have to fake what you do... if you are GENUINELY confident, genuinely able to offer goodwill to people, and genuinely able to maintain a certain image in varying environments, then by all means, you've mastered what it means to be a good person. But perhaps, this is why people always claim politicians and leaders are liars - they don't lie because they want to, they lie because they have to. They "lie" to others to fit an image that people have imposed upon them. Or they "lie" to themselves, in order to appropriately fit the image they so desperately desire to have.